Recovering from a heartbreak is one of the toughest experiences that isn’t discussed enough. Matters of the heart can get so complicated that a chance at healing can be unattainable until so much time has passed. In most cases, the healing process is determined by how much psychological and emotional distress one went through during the duration of the relationship.
The relationship could be good at the beginning, things were smooth and they were the best you ever had. Suddenly, the love of your life becomes your worst nightmare. Processing the hurt and deciding when it is time to leave is the first step to healing.
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We’ve all been there, after the breakup, your routine becomes messed up because they are the first notification that makes you crack a smile after you wake up. At the end of your day, you had to settle for ordering takeout because you’d rather spend time detailing your day to your partner than bend over your kitchen counter cooking up a storm.
Now it’s like life has become void of color, you can’t pick out your phone to call them, you are blocked on their socials and can’t text them either, and your sight is blurred from too much crying because you miss them so much.
This is a tough place to be and your feelings are valid, however, what you want to avoid is sinking into an unhealthy hole. Resorting to smoking, drinking and constantly blaming yourself for what happened will not only slow your healing process but also leave you with habits you’d have to fight letting go of. You do not want that for yourself so here are more helpful tips to get over a breakup
1. Process your Hurt and Seek the Required Help
Leaving a relationship can be hurtful, whether it was your decision or not. It is okay to feel all of the emotions, let yourself be sad. Acknowledge the way you feel and stay there for a minute. However, making a conscious effort to move on as soon as possible is paramount to healing. Accept that the relationship is over and discard things that can make you remember the moments spent with your ex.
At this point, you want to delete pictures and try not to be idle so you don’t spend your time thinking about them. In a case where the partner was abusive, there can be debilitating effects, physical bruises, PTSD, low self-esteem, and attachment issues. These are more complicated issues that would require professional assistance, meeting a therapist could help you recover.
2. Be Intentional About Getting Rid of Memories with Your Ex
Yes, that picture in your drawer was taken when you were the most happy version of yourself. This should make you want to hold on to it, but sadly, it is a hindering block to your aim to move on. The best thing you can do for yourself is to discard it, also do a deep cleansing of your gallery, and make sure there is not one picture that takes you back memory lane. Finally, try not to make an excuse to find closure by reaching out or stalking their social media. Trust me, you will most likely regret it. The best closure is no contact at all.
3. Practice Self-Care and Indulge in Activities that Excite You
Besides getting the required medical and mental healthcare, you also need to have a personal routine dedicated to taking care of yourself. Prioritize your health, eat well, and rest well. Invest in beauty products if looking good makes you happy, this is the time to visit the spa and exercise. Getting your dream body could be the reminder you need to be confident again. Maybe this is the time to take that trip, if this is on the high side, you could go on solo dates to that restaurant you have always wanted to visit.
You also need to socialize more and look into meaningful friendships, this way you can find people to do these things with. Feeling isolated is inevitable while dealing with a breakup, meeting people you can do fun things with is a good energy booster. This could involve joining a book club, or some movie fan club where reviews about movies you have seen are shared. That way, you wouldn’t even need to meet people physically if you do not want that.
4. Invest your Time and Efforts in your Business/Career
Moving on from a breakup isn’t the time to fall short of your targets be it career-wise or personal goals. Instead, this is the time to put your all into what you have going for you. Breakups can make you zone out and become less interested. Although you need to take as much time as you can while healing, it is also great to remember that moderation is key.
You don’t want to lay in bed crying over your ex while your Q1 and Q2 goals stay on hold and risk losing the job you once loved because you can hardly concentrate at work. Knowing when to pick yourself up and get to winning would do you so much good.
5. Finding Love Again
When you are done healing and sure that you are ready to start afresh, ensure that it doesn’t feel like a chore. Have fun going on dates and getting to know new people. Not all of your dates will end up being that love story you seek, so be comfortable just being friends with them.
Always remind yourself that your time with your ex was only an experience. Do not compare and approach your intending boyfriend or girlfriend based on what you went through in the past. This will only ruin another experience that has not even started yet. Focus more on making new memories and becoming a better version of yourself to your new partner. Be confident that you can always have it better and the choice to move on is solely on you.