How to Create a Healthy Relationship With Your Teenagers Six Easy Ways

Having a teenager can be hectic sometimes. Yes, it is a bittersweet experience. You start observing behaviors that were not present before and they start being distant. They start wanting their privacy even more. They start being rebellious or deliberately trying to get on your nerves. Whew!!! Raising a teenager is hectic.

Even with the stress of handling the headiness that comes with having a teenager, you are so happy your “once little baby” is transitioning into an adult. You could remember when they were so young and tender.

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You are finally having a “soon-to-be adult” , yet you can’t fathom why you have to deal with so much tantrums.
As a result of their constant display of some intolerable character, as a parent or guardian, you could find it difficult maintaining a healthy relationship with them or even understand them.
I am always here to help. In this article, I will be sharing a few tips on how you can create a healthy relationship with your teenager.

1. Communication

This is one of the most important techniques you need to learn when dealing with teenagers. Assure them they can tell you anything. Inquire what triggers those displays of tantrums, ask about how their day went and let them know you care about their emotions.
Questions like; “How can I help you with this new phrase of yours?”, “Are you experiencing any difficulty?”, “Do you think I need to know anything concerning this…?”
You could always start with “I understand so much is going on because I have been in this same phase” or “I am always here because I understand this phrase of yours”. Statements like this give them the reassurance that you really care about them.

Always make sure the atmosphere is conducive enough for them to prevent tension or them hoarding any important information from you. When the atmosphere is conducive, you need not force them into opening up to you.
This allows them to express their thoughts and feelings and makes them feel heard. Trust me, when you allow your teenager to feel heard, it strengthens the bond that you share with them. It also helps you to understand how they feel and some things that trigger them. Again, it helps you in guiding them using the right methods.
It is important to note that establishing communication might be hard with your teenager especially if you have not given them the impression that you want them to be heard. This is where you have to give it time, trust me, they would definitely give in.

2. Understanding

Communication calls for understanding. You have heard them communicate their feelings. Now, how well do you understand them? Do not forget, you are grown and can handle situations better as a result of your experiences or what life has taught you.
However, a lot of parents and guardians make the mistake of viewing the behaviours of their teenagers with their present scope of lens rather than their teenager’s scope.
The teenage years come with a lot of mistakes and you can attest to them. Some of the silliest mistakes you made are in your teenage years. This could be as a result of myriads of reasons; you lacked the proper guidance and attention, you felt your parents were not concerned enough, you could not communicate easily, etc. You wouldn’t want that for your teenager, right?

Put yourself in their shoes and try to always understand them. They feel betrayed if they speak to you and you still do not understand them. You could share some of the mistakes you made to them that you think they can handle and are relatable to them. This shows that you value and respect them by making conscious efforts and this increases their self esteem and helps in building the bond.

3. Create Beautiful Moments With Them

Creating moments or even spending time with them might be hard especially if you are a 9-5 parent or guardian or if you have an extremely busy schedule.

Let me share a little secret, many parents feel that their children only need them in their toddler stage and just leave them to figure things out in their teenage years. However, this impression is incorrect, your teenager needs you so much during their teenage age and the best way to make it beautiful is by making beautiful memories with them.
Make time from your busy schedule. It could be twice or once a week depending on how adjustable your schedule is. You could go see a movie, go hiking, go shopping or just help them explore their interests.
If your teenager has an interest in painting and sketching you could take them to an art gallery or if your teenager loves history, you could take them to the museum or occasionally get them history-related books.
Remember those pictures, smile and have so much fun. Be real. It could ease some of your stress from work and your teenager would have a good time. Double win for you.

4. Let Them Come To You

I know as parents, it’s so easy to always want to interfere in the lives of our teenagers. To some parents, this could be because they have made terrible mistakes that they do not want their teenagers to repeat. For others, they want their teenagers to be perfect and void of mistakes.

Relax, mistakes are inevitable and important in shaping anyone. In fact, humans are bound to make mistakes. I mean that’s what makes us humans, rights? Understand that interfering in everything in their lives could be too much for them. It could seem harmless to you, but it might be excessive to them. They might want to avoid you or just never open up to you. Show them you care, love them, respect them; of course, everyone has to be respected and your teenager is no exception, guide them but please do not try to interfere in every single aspect of their lives.
Let them come to you sometimes, and trust me, they will.

5. Practice Good Parenting

What does good parenting entail? Love, Care, Provision, Discipline, Time, Attention, Active Participation, Support, Setting Boundaries, Good values and exceptional principles. Remember, you can’t be a perfect parent, but you can be a good parent to your teenagers. Know when to be soft and sweet, and understand where you have to employ your discipline and principles.

It is important to note that most teenagers reenact the kind of parenting styles their parents practised on their own children. We don’t want wounded teenagers scattered around the earth, right?

Also, I know you want to create bonds with your teenager, but always remember to be firm when situations call for sure. Let them understand that you are their parents and they are your responsibility, so when they are out of line, they will be disciplined. Remember, communication is key!

6. Dating and Relationships

Most parents cringe at the idea of their teenagers dating or they even become so scared or overly protective. Relax, whether you like it or not, your teenagers would date or are already dating. Yeah, do relax. You should be looking for ways to guide them in regard to dating and the risks involved in it. Advise them if you feel they are too young but most teenagers still date anyway, always remember that.

Deal with it; there is a high chance that your teenager is already dating someone.
Be intentional about the kind of relationships they keep. Know their friends. Try to know who they date. Encourage them to bring their friends home.

Once in a while, just throw comments like; “you are so beautiful or handsome, I hope your date compliments you”. They could easily open up with such comments.
It is important you know their friend so you could easily reach out to them if anything goes wrong.

Remember, when you build a good relationship with your teenager, they will reciprocate your efforts by making you happy. They would easily open up to you; although, truth is not in all things but trust me, in most happenings in their lives. Some would take time, but most would not.

I wish you the best of luck in creating a beautiful relationship with your teenagers.

Author: Sola Legend

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