“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” This saying could loosely mean that in a long-distance relationship, partners grow more fond of each other.
However, this is not the general rule because, in the same vein, it can be said that “Out of sight is out of mind”. In most cases, the former happens because both partners have defied all odds and strengthened the bonds between them regardless of the distance by paying attention to each other’s needs. Unlike regular relationships where partners could move in together and spend most of their time with each other, within the same space every day.
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Long-distance relationships require more effort to maintain, this is because both partners have to be in a separate city, country, and even continent for one reason or another. Generally, distance between partners could easily result in stressors, eventually sabotaging the relationship if not carefully handled.
After reading this article, readers will gain a deeper understanding of the challenges of long-distance relationships as well as helpful tips for nurturing love across borders. In the subsequent sections, we will explore the common issues of long-distance relationships and effective strategies to maintain bonds.
Common Challenges in Long-Distance Relationships and Effective Ways to Tackle Them
1. Lack of Communication
Communication is a vital part of every relationship, whether it is friendship or romance. A lack of communication can lead to frequent misunderstandings and fallbacks between friends, partners, and even family. With long-distance relationships, effective communication is non-negotiable due to factors like the difference in time zones and varying schedules.
Partners are already so far apart, that feelings of loneliness and isolation could creep in, and this eventually results in anxiety with either or both partners wondering if the bond between them subsists. When this happens, the relationship starts to near its end. This is why besides effectively communicating partners also need to create enough room for open communication.
This way, there is no limit to what can be discussed and any change can easily be addressed timely before it escalates. The primary way to lock down effective communication is to set expectations right from the beginning by having a timetable that works for both partners. An example of this would be, checking up on each other both at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day could be a one-hour voice or video call where both parties give updates about how their day would go and at night, another conversation on how the day went.
However, there are so many mediums of communication so choosing one that works best for your relationship would be helpful. It could be leaving each other texts randomly during the day. Sending them random pictures of your location and adding a backstory, all of these are gestures that could leave the sparks flying between you and your partner.
2. Lack of Clear Expectations and Mismatched Efforts
Setting clear expectations in a relationship right from the talking stages would go a long way in maintaining bonds in a relationship. Most partners get sucked into the honeymoon phase when it’s all sweet and things seem to be going well that little disruptions make feelings blow out. Creating time to discuss these things, however, would prevent a lot of issues and make changes easier to accommodate.
Set expectations on how frequent visits would be and how long they last, frequency of communication, conflict resolution as well as long-term plans. You want to talk about what the next plan of action is when marriage or pregnancy comes into the picture, who is moving to live with the other person and likely sacrifices to be made in the process. Having a clear picture of how things would pan out eases a lot of tension, it also helps by giving both parties something worth looking forward to.
However, all of these take a merging of efforts on both sides especially for partners who are looking at a long-term relationship. When efforts are mismatched in keeping to set expectations, it leaves a void in the relationship. For instance, last-minute cancellation of a trip/vacation by one partner without concrete reasons or constantly falling short of promised timelines on calls and texts.
The partner who is always present for these things gets disappointed and it would seem that they are more invested in the relationship than the absent partner. This goes on to increase doubts and build resentment especially when it happens repeatedly. Finally, besides setting expectations, always ensure that you always meet your end of the bargain.
3. Doubt and Unresolved Differences
It is so easy to begin to doubt and suspect your partner when you stay far apart especially when it seems like they have started to socialize more with other people. You begin to live on the edge because you want to know their every move. The why, where, and when questions pop up, the assumptions, and constant monitoring. I dare say this is a normal occurrence in all long-distance relationships but that would be exaggerated.
While setting expectations, you need to ensure that you and your partner have drawn a line on distrust. You should be confident in your partner enough to trust them and vice versa. Trust is like seasoning, which is an essential ingredient that makes a meal complete, a lack of it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Also, if you become aware of information or suspicion that makes you uncomfortable, discussing it with your partner rather than internalizing it saves you both a lot of trouble. Internalizing issues always results in dissatisfaction, you are not asking questions. Instead, you imagine numerous scenarios in your head. At the end of the day, you begin to react in response to these assumptions and leave your partner guessing what they did to get blocked on your socials.
Long-distance relationships require great dedication and perseverance from both parties to make it work. While challenges are inevitable, all it takes is open communication, respect for one another, and a common goal for couples to overcome distance and maintain their bond.