In many parts of the world, the man is seen as the strong pillar of the family. For this reason, a lot of men become endued with a lot of responsibilities that often shift away their attention from simple things of life.
There are so many things a man can do to maintain the peace and orderliness of his home but being saddled with such tasks as financial provisions, providing for shelter and amenities like gas, and a constant power supply for the house may already have been a burden.
As a man of the house and sole breadwinner, if that is the case, you may miss out on even simple things like knowing your son’s grades in his last exams or your daughter being able to converse with you at playtime. Your whole attention is mostly divided.
Sometimes, it is the men who bring this upon themselves. They often fail to see that they are not in the family alone, the wife is often there to offer her help in the little way possible but a few men will always want to be the sole provider for the sake of respect and preserving their authority. This could end up being so mentally taxing that nothing else matters.
One very important thing to first learn in becoming a better father and husband in your home is to know that your family comes first before anything else. While it is important to work and make more money, you should remember that you wanted money just to take care of them but if they were not there, of what use is then the money?
So, learn to always prioritize your family and balance your work-life and family activities. You must make a conscious and deliberate effort to achieve this.
So, below is a simple list of things you could do to become a better husband and father
Be Inclusive: One thing you must do as a good husband and father in your own home is to create a family setting that includes other members of the family, especially your wife in the important decision-making process such as how money is spent and how to make the budgets. Your wife is a very important figure in the house, incorporate her into your delicate plans as well for the smooth running of the family. You should also nurture your children as well to embrace the importance of inclusivity and diversity.
Be Expressive: Because men generally feel good about getting things done and fast, they most likely keep to themselves and have lots of complex plans running in their minds. Experience may have taught them that speaking too much about a plan leads to a high probability of failure. However, as a father, you must learn to be expressive and know how to rub minds with other members of the family. You know that feeling when your children leap for joy when you grace their presence with your figure and everyone is always looking forward to having you around for longer? You won’t get that from being aggressive, or moody, or constantly keeping to yourself.
Radiate Positivity: Sometimes, things get a little bit rough for the family which may be in the form of financial challenges or managing health concerns. As a father, other members of the family will look up to you for hope. It is your responsibility to encourage them in situations like this and be positive.
Spend Time With Your Family: Every family needs a father figure in the house to spend some of his time with them. We understand that you have to work and provide for their basic needs but this should never be a replacement for time spent with them. Every once in a while, endeavor to make out time to be with your family. When you are absent for too long, everyone will begin to get used to getting things done without you and this will be to your disadvantage in the long run.
Participate In The Life Of Your Children: This is also one very important way of being a better father to your children. Find time to be there on their special occasions. At least three times out of five is a better try. Do not procrastinate these moments as you may never know what will happen the next time.
Share Responsibilities: For you, you should learn to designate some responsibilities and more generally get other members of the family to lend a hand in some little personal duties. Similarly, for the rest of the family and when you feel that you’re less occupied, offer an assisting hand when even when they are acting like they got it all sorted. This brings about a strong bonding and creates an atmosphere where everyone knows they are not alone on any challenge. And this is definitely good for the family
Offer Equal Opportunities: You should ensure equity and fairness among all family members. This way, your children know that they have equal opportunities to participate in family events and can confidently contribute their own ideas without fear of being ignored. Being a better father and husband means you are able to encourage fairness when it comes to allocating responsibilities. Even when you have a favourite among your children, this should only be in your thought and never disclosed to the other children.
Set Boundaries and Discipline: As much as you should encourage love and togetherness in your family, you must also set boundaries. You should have a discussion with the rest of the family on discipline and make them know what behaviours are acceptable and which are not.
Practice Active Listening: Because the man is always trying to solve the immediate problems or needs of the family, he might often get carried away in his thoughts and plans. However, as you are trying to achieve being a better husband and father, you must make a conscious effort to practice active listening whenever other members are trying to communicate their message or ideas, or even experiences from an earlier outing.
Other important things you could do are:
- Teach Empathy and Compassion
- Provide Support and Encouragement
- Lead by Example
- Self-Care; Take Good Care of Your Own Self
- Apologize when wrong and Learn from your mistakes
- Continuous Learning; Never Stop Learning