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Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Well, it used to be. Not with six months of marriages being dissolved nowadays. But it was always meant to be a lifelong deal: To spend the rest of your life with the love of your life.
As dreamy as that sounds, even the best couples don’t have a walk in the park when it comes to maintaining their marriages. And a significant amount of those problems arise from insecurities from each partner being unsure about whether they are still loved or not. I dare to say this without sounding as sexist as possible but most times the women are the ones who need ‘reassuring’ the most.
Read Also: How to build trust in a romantic relationship in five simple ways
So, here are 10 ways that you can show your wife that your love candle hasn’t burnt out just yet.
- Listen To Her During Conversations: If you’ve been hearing someone talk nonstop for the past 20 years, this sounds funny. I know. But that’s precisely my point. During the early stages of your relationship, way back, when you were trying to “win her heart” by being the Mr Charming you’re not. (No offence) , you most likely tried to please her in all ways possible. Including, being a listening ear. Chances are: because you’re reading this, you won! You got her, and now you’re married. Two decades down the line, you might have relaxed a little bit. Not that you don’t care anymore, or you love her any less, but to be honest, you probably just don’t care to listen as much as you used to. When that becomes repetitive, you might just be sowing seeds of doubt in her mind. So, step up your game! Truly listen to what she says, when she’s ranting about her day, or asking you about her favourite make-up products, don’t just hear, listen and be there for her.
- Defend her anywhere anytime to anyone both in her presence or not: Women love to defend what’s theirs. Be it their spouse, children etc. They don’t joke around with what they care about. So it’s not strange they love when they’re defended publicly, even in their absence. POV: A friend keeps saying that your wife isn’t all that great and she’s like this, or like that. And you stand there and watch? And later, go on when you’re alone to say, “I’m sorry about what he said. You’re not like that.” What happened to your mouth when he was right there?! Things like this can start feeding insecurities into her mind, and start doubting your love for her, so man up!
- Involve Her And Plan Things With Her: This doesn’t have to be a discrete, life-changing plan that involves the entire family moving to a new country. Although you should probably plan that with her too. I meant the little things, you were wondering what to wear to work the next day, plan it with her. If you don’t know which watch to buy, for instance, ask for her opinion. Making her feel involved in what happens in your life even the littlest things is a sure way to show just how much you love her.
- Joke Around With Her From Time To Time:
Nothing is funny these days. I know. That’s why she needs you. If the economy isn’t funny, that doesn’t mean your marriage should also not be funny. Your soulmate is not the economy. Have laughs, proper, hearty laughter with your spouse. If you fake laugh, without actually being amused by what your partner says, then there is a lot of work to be done. Don’t try it. - Let Her Exercise Some Power Even Over Important Things: “My dear, where should we go for this year’s vacation?” “Anywhere you want us to. You decide.” You think she’d still doubt you love her after this? Sometimes, give your wife the free will, to have a semblance of her being in charge, to show you trust even the most important things to her care. Believe in her ability from time to time, and don’t be a control freak.
- Keep Things Fresh: For absolutely no reason should you be having the same monotonous cycle in your marriage for 20 years. No matter the love that exists, certain activities can become bland, and you would need to spice it up. (Pun intended) Oh, and by the way, she’s probably tired of the same old, “The leaders of this country are terrible.” talk. She’s your wife, not a political analyst.
- Talk Out Your Problems/Issues: Whether you believe it or not, women are very good at reading people. Especially their partners. So when you have an issue or problem with your spouse and choose not to discuss it, not only do you allow it to linger, but you keeping it from your partner might induce in her that she’s not worthy enough to discuss it with, and we all know where that’s going to end.
- Make her feel attractive: The very first step to this, don’t cheat! Because, if she was good enough, why would look outwards in the first place? Do you catch my drift? Let her know she’s beautiful. Tell her, brag about her, reassure her, even in the bedroom, make her feel like she’s the best woman in the world, because, to you, a married man, that’s what she should be!
- Give her gifts: “Love is an emotional thing. It’s not all about gifts.” My stomach’s insides are turning, reading that statement. If I can say anything to you today, it’s this: Shower your spouse with gifts. A lot. I’m not saying go broke trying to get the latest Zara or Versace, but thoughtful gifts. Gifts of love. Oh, and please no more, “I’m the best gift she has already” statement. She needs a proper gift.
- Do Not Hesitate to Call Her Out When She is Wrong: You know that saying our mothers make that they’re scolding us for our own good? Well, they are not wrong. Except that they usually go overboard with theirs but that’s not the point. They’re right. If your wife perhaps does something wrong, or exhibits a bad behaviour. Call her to order immediately. Am I saying carry a cane? No! Absolutely not. You should never hit a woman (story for another day). But reprimand her when due, and do so from an honest place with her best interests in mind, when she realizes where that is coming from, that is the ultimate proof of your love for her, stemming from the fact you don’t want anything to happen to her. Hence, your complaint.