The desire to be touched romantically is often what makes a long-distance relationship hard. Yes, this and a few other things of course.
So, if you can manage that first one, to stay alone and strong too without that burning urge to be romantically touched in all those special places, then your first goal to survive and keep that long-distance relationship is achieved. I said this because it is usually, the major issue.
When two lovers are able to focus on and maintain all efforts toward abstaining from lustful pleasures in their different locations, every other challenge becomes super easy to overcome.
But why would anyone want to go into a long-distance relationship in the first place? Different situations may warrant going into it, of course. Such as when you meet a new lover on Twitter or Instagram and you need to keep building love and trust over the distance and the barrier of the internet before an appointed meeting time by both parties. This type of relationship often involves partners from different states or countries or even continents. If you both are from the same country, you might be a bit luckier in making things work than if you were to be from, say Ghana or Nigeria and your potential partner is in the United States.
Another situation that may warrant going into a long-distance relationship could be when you have already been with your partner for longer or may even have been married but working or furthering their education, unfortunately, had one of you moved or relocated to another part of the country or even farther.
So, the question is, how do you cope?
How do you keep up with that relationship over such a long distance? And how do you ensure that simple things that would normally have been resolved if both of you had been physically together do not now lead to tragic complications?
Whichever is your case from the two situations mentioned above, you must know that even the tiniest complaints can put an end to that relationship you cherish if necessary steps are not taken. From poor communication to forgetting fixed appointments, a beautiful relationship can go from being adorable to being your worst nightmare.
Below are 8 simple ways to keep your long-distance relationship and make it work.
First, believe that your long-distance relationship can work: If that relationship must work over that long distance, your mindset must be positive and fixed on making it work. This is not the same as being desperate. When you consider all the upside effects and previous investments in time and other things related, those things that make you happy and constantly smiling when you think of your partner, these should give you hope. It should strengthen your faith in them. So, it is important to believe that the relationship will work and that the long distance separating you both will soon be over. It’s just a matter of time.
Maintain open and frequent communication: You and your partner must agree to a communication method if the relationship must work. Fortunately, there is a wide variety available. Be free to make adjustments as agreed upon by both of you as time goes by and circumstances changes. Also, decide when and when not to communicate, and when you do, keep it as open and frequent as possible. Never get tired of keeping in touch with your partner. Be completely honest and sincere, otherwise, whatever it is you are trying to hide will soon multiply and lowkey put avoidable dents on your relationship.
Decide the end date for the long-distance relationship: You must know when the distance barrier will be eventually lifted so you can work around your expectations. A long-distance relationship should not be a forever thing. Even if the date will change in the near future, you would at least have something to look forward to.
Keep the same energy as you would physically: The only thing that should probably be missing in your relationship over a distance is the physical touch. Every other fun thing you did before separation should still be maintained to the best of your abilities. You could still watch your favourite movies together over Zoom calls. You could share similar playlists and if you are the religious type, you could still do your morning prayers, and fastings together. Don’t make a habit of making excuses. Use every available technology to your advantage.
Get rid of the insecurity: One of the most common challenges for a long-distance relationship is insecurity. Fear of losing your partner to someone else. So, you must build trust and work towards addressing emotions constructively. Reassure yourselves of your love for each other and always put each other’s interests first. The lack of proximity may often make you feel that your partner is cheating but if you both have set clear expectations regarding the relationship, then there should be respect for boundaries. Effective communication and planned visits can help overcome these feelings of insecurity.
Surprise your partner: One way of ensuring commitment in a long-distance relationship is healthy surprises. Surprise yourselves with simple gestures such as sending each other handwritten letters, ordering and gifting each other care packages, or even a surprise visit to their new city or country if you can afford it.
Praise your partner often: Being able to keep calm and ready to wait to be in your open arms again is not an easy task in a long-distance relationship. You should praise each other often. This will encourage a positive mindset to wait for each other no matter how long you are away for.
Address small issues quickly: It is not unusual to take some breaks when the relationship is facing some troubles. This can also happen in a physical relationship. We may need this time off to clear our heads before things get really messy. This is not a bad idea but in a long-distance relationship where you are already miles apart from each other, you may have to think this thoroughly before asking for a break. Now, this should not make you feel intimidated by the fear of losing your partner, however, you must weigh your options well.
Overall, long-distance relationships are not as easy as Netflix makes them out to be. It requires conscious efforts from the people involved. One thing is for sure, long-distance relationships work, as long as you apply these eight ways in them.